Counting every ounce...

Finally captured a smile on camera!!
How could I know anything was wrong with this sweet, smiley boy??

I have posted some things on Facebook about what has been going on with Graham baby, but so many people have been asking questions, I thought I'd do a post to give some answers. So a few weeks ago, our little peanut had his 4 month checkup. For some reason the pediatricians here don't do 3 month checkups, so it had been two months since we'd been into the doctor's office. One of my best friends Andrea had come to Indy to visit and meet Graham for the first time, so she came with me to his checkup.

Loving Aunt Andrea's snuggles!!

I was expecting nothing but good news. Graham had spent the past couple of months seemingly happy and healthy, rolling over, babbling, smiling and laughing... And then they put him on the scale. At 2 months, he'd weighed 10 lbs, 1 oz, which is small but normal, and I knew he was supposed to have gained 2-4 lbs since then. When the number popped up on the scale at 10 lbs, 6 oz, I immediately started freaking out internally. He wasn't even on the charts anymore. I LOVE our pediatrician, and she is a mom of two young kids, so she is the perfect mix of knowledgeable doctor and understanding mom. After a thorough exam of Graham and asking me tons of questions, she recommended continuing to nurse every 3 hours, supplementing 1 oz in a bottle after each session, putting him on meds to help his spitup, and holding him upright for 15 min after eating to help keep everything down. If he didn't gain some ounces in a couple of weeks, she wanted to do bloodwork to test for some underlying medical issues. Seems like a simple, reasonable plan, but the minute we got home, tears came hard, fast, and furious. Had I been starving our baby for 2 months without realizing it?!! How could I not have known this was going on?? I felt like the biggest failure of a mom ever. We had five days of complete misery, with baby and Mommy crying through nearly every feeding. If my milk supply had been low before, it bottomed out with this bad news. And with my milk supply low, Grahammers would spend a long fussy hour feeding and still not be full. Then he would suck down several ounces in a bottle... and not be hungry the next session. Ugh. We called the doctor every day that week with question after question of how to best help our sweet baby. Finally, after tons of trial and error, I realized that most of my questions and our problems seemed to point to low milk supply. As a first time nursing mom, I had no idea what I was doing. He had been fine the first two months, so I assumed everything was working well. But with breast-feeding, there's absolutely no way to tell how much milk they're getting.

We ended up going back in after a week because I needed some feedback badly. Graham still weighed exactly the same, but the doctor was encouraged by some of the other things we told her, such as number of poopy diapers and peed-through outfits, plus my increase in milk supply the past few days. I had begun pumping twice in the middle of the night each day, taking Fenugreek, guzzling enough water to feel like a fish, eating more than usual, building in naps to my schedule, everything I could think of or read or hear about. She gave us one more week to get some ounces on this baby. She said she'd be happy with a 4 oz. gain, so that's what we began begging God for. The next 7 days were dedicated to nothing but making sure Graham had the best feedings and naps possible. And God answered!! Graham gained 4 oz exactly. She wanted to see him again one week later, just to make sure we were still on track. We upped his supplemental intake by 2 oz/ day. When we went back this time, he had only gained 2oz in the past 7 days. Ugh. Not good at all. Our doctor was out of town, so we saw someone else, who recommended we go to the hospital for tests as soon as possible, start a new feeding plan (adding formula into my pumped milk for extra calories and rice cereal to make it thicker and harder to spit back up), new spitup meds, and if good progress wasn't made in a few short days, that we may have to go to the hospital to be closely monitored at every feeding and diaper change. I lost it. I bawled through the whole appointment and Andrew had to do all the talking. I was overcome with worry, frustration, despair the rest of the day. Finally, that night I was reminding myself of who God is and the promises He doesn't break, and my heart began to soften. No matter what, I was so thankful to have the opportunity to be a mom. There is nothing else like it. No matter what, I could see God doing good through all this in my own heart, in my marriage, in our families, etc. And I began to trust Him again. He can't stop doing good to me. It's not in His nature, and He doesn't change. The next morning, we went to the hospital cautiously hopeful. His first test was an ultrasound of his heart, to make sure there wasn't a murmur or something going on that would eat up his calories and leave none for him to grow on.

The hospital gave G a puppy dog.. He really could care less. :)

The second test was to draw blood and check for things like hyper thyroid issues, anemia, and some other things I honestly can't remember. The third test was a sweat chloride test, which checks for cystic fibrosis. Then we went home and waited... and waited. How can you think about anything else??!! The results finally came back in-- all normal, except that he is anemic. The doctor told us to get some iron drops for him. Simple. But as Andrew and I began to discuss the results, and he checked in with his mom (a nurse, who has Celiac's disease and anemia too), some things started coming together in our heads. Anemia can sometimes be linked to Celiac's disease, which Andrew and many members of his family have (meaning they can't process gluten). It is very rare for a breastfed baby to show signs of Celiac's before they have solid food, so we just never even considered it. Everyone told me to eat normally as I breast-fed him, so I did. Andrew didn't even have problems with gluten until he was an adult, and I thought at the very earliest Graham would possibly have to deal with it would be as a toddler eating solid foods. We began Googling things, checking with our nurse/ doctor friends and family... And realized that Celiac's would answer every symptom that he has... Low weight gain, tons of spitup even though we've tried different meds, farts that smell like rotten eggs (ha!), but still happy and meeting his milestones. We go back to the doctor tomorrow and are hopeful that we will begin the testing for that instead of being put in the hospital. Celiac's is the best-case scenario because it is very simple to treat by just adopting a gluten free diet. Please join with us in praying that's all that is wrong with little Grahammers!!

Out the other day for a stroller ride on a rare sunny day...

And then Mommy realized it was still freezing outside!!
All bundled up and out like a light!