The Grahaminator at 6 months

Kinda misleading...
He can only sit up by himself for about 1.5 seconds
before toppling over. :)

Weight: 15 lbs, 3 oz!!!!!!!!! Finally back on the charts. Whew.

Height: 26 inches.

Clothing size: All 6 months now!!! Who-hoo!!!

Diaper size: Still rockin' the cloth diapers.

Feeding: Welp, after many, many tears by baby and Mommy, I decided it was better for us all to switch Graham over to formula. Well, really Graham decided when he started refusing to eat from me. Rrrrrrrr. Little booger. I'd planned on nursing for a full year, but it obviously was just not working for us, no matter what I tried. And I tried it ALL. No, really. Everything. Believe me. My body simply does not produce the amount he needs (30 oz/ day). So we've been mixing my milk and formula for the last month to get Graham and my body used to it. And he has taken off on his weight gain ever since we switched to bottles only! It is such a relief to me to know exactly how much he's getting. And now, moving on from the Mommy guilt and looking forward to enjoying life and my little Grahammers again!! It was heart-breaking for me to make this decision, but now that it is made, I seriously want to burn my pump and throw a party for being done with this whole nightmare. People have asked me what I'll do with the next baby (if God graciously gives us another, and NO I'm NOT pregnant!!) on this issue, and I do plan to nurse again. So I guess I can't burn the pump. BUT I will insist on more frequent checkups at the doctor, to make sure there's no problem with the weight gain. Graham was fine at his 2 month checkup, and then had barely gained any, falling WAY off the charts at his next doctor's visit, at 4 months. Anyway, I refuse to jump on baby soapboxes, except for this one- do what is best for your baby and family and forget the stinkin Mommy guilt!!!!! Jesus set us free from it all. Also, we'll begin his first solid foods tonight on his half birthday! Sweet potatoes are on the menu. :)

Sleeping: After a month of insanity, he began sleeping through the night again. Whew. He naps  about 4-5 hours a day.

He loves to sleep with his hand on his face.
We knows it's naptime when he starts Tebow-ing. :)

Milestones: Balding. Ha. His hair is falling out like crazy!! And he's finally rolling over all the way from back to stomach. Playing with his feet...is that a milestone?? Making it 2 weeks in a row without crying in the church nursery. :)

First time rolling over from back to stomach.
He did it a ton of times in the crib before we actually saw him do it.

Likes: Did I mention he loves snuggling? Swinging on the front porch, watching the cars go by and chatting with the neighbors. Stroller rides, especially with the Kings. We are outside as much as possible now. Seeing himself in the mirror. Hilarious.

Mommy-G snuggle time.

His reaction to himself in the mirror.

Dislikes: Sitting. Not being held. Missing naps.

Adventures: Outside!! Walks and porch swings almost every day. Spending time with Aunt Mel and Cousin Kaleigh. Trying the Johnny Jump Up. First Gender Reveal Party!! Making homemade baby food to start solids soon... Daddy finishing grad school!!! Who-hoo!!!

The Buckles called it! So excited for the Tatlocks' boy and Sluders' girl!!!!

What we couldn't live with out: Formula. Seriously. 

My favorite part of parenting this age: Just seeing his little personality develop more and more. And those smiles, ohhhhhhhh. Melt.my.heart.

The hardest part of parenting this age: Letting go of "mommy guilt."

Love this babyface!!!!!

The Grahaminator at 5 months!

Update: Since the last post, we went to the doctor and found out Graham had gained 8 oz in 3 days!!! Completely unexpected by everyone! The nurse, doctor, Andrew, and I all stared at the scale in disbelief. I picked G up, and they asked me to put him back down to re-weigh him. Ha! There was nothing drastic enough we changed in the last 3 days for him to gain that much, so we know that God just did it!! Thanks for everyone who prayed, and may this build your faith as it has ours!! The weight gain also means no hospital stay for us! WHEW. And we don't have to go back for another weigh-in for 10 days! That's the longest we've gone in a month! We talked to the doctor about the possibility of Graham having Celiac's disease, but she didn't want to test him because it is very, very rare for breastfed babies to show signs of it before eating solid foods, and the test when they're this young is mostly inconclusive. She did say I could go gluten-free for two weeks and see if it made a difference, so that's what I'm doing. I stocked up on some Chex cereal and am good to go! So we still don't have definite answers to why all this happened in the first place. I'm guessing anemia, low milk supply, and possibly Celiac's were a combination of culprits, but who the heck really knows??

Weight: 11 lbs, 4 oz (a few days ago)... Still tiny, but incredibly excited to finally hit that 11 pound mark!!

Height: No idea.

Clothing size: Still in 3 months clothes. Hoping he starts busting out of these soon!!

Diaper size: CLOTH DIAPERS! Still going strong! We had to buy a couple more to keep up with G's increased feedings and outputs. :)

Someone loves his new cloth diapers!

Feeding: After several different plans from the doctor to get his weight up this month, we've finally settled into a  routine. Still nursing every 3 hours, plus supplementing 1.5 oz of pumped milk after each feeding, with a 1/2 t of formula (for extra calories) and 1 T of rice cereal (to make it thicker and harder to spit up). Getting up to pump 1-2x every night too, to have supplemental milk and keep up my milk supply. Whew. If feeding him felt like my full-time job before, we're talking major overtime now. It really is like having a newborn all over again.

Sleeping: He naps for about 1 hr 15 min each 3-hr cycle now. He had slept almost perfectly through the night from 2-4 months, but a week or so before his 4 month checkup, he started waking up some in the middle of the night... And hasn't stopped since. :( Sometimes he wants to eat, but mostly it's random things, like he lost his paci, or his body is crammed into the wall of the crib and he can't get away, his nose is filled with snot, or he just wants to be held... I think all the changes to his diet and my stress levels didn't help all of this. I am hoping as we all settle into our new routine, things will go back to normal at night. He also has started sleeping on his side sometimes, which is pretty cute.

Milestones: Hitting the 11 pound mark!! That's pretty much all we've been working on or cared about lately. :) Staying in the church nursery for the first time. They did great with him, but he was not a fan. I heard his cries as I walked down the hall to get him, but as soon as he saw me, there were big smiles. Little stinker. He loves to grab toys and anything else now... and then put whatever it is into his mouth. Holding his bottle, kinda.

Likes: Snuggling. As usual. His new exersaucer! He's supposed to be as upright as possible to help keep his feedings down, so Nonnie and Poppy brought this up at the perfect time!  

Dislikes: Still not a fan of big crowds. Wants to be held only by Mommy or Daddy when there are lots of people around. Not saying I mind it. :)

Adventures: Really for the past month, we have stayed close to home most days. I cancelled plan after plan just to make sure Graham had the best conditions to eat and sleep. Crazy how much they affect each other! The hubs and I have become obsessed with Dominion, a really fun card game. Graham plays sometimes too. :) Reallllllly ready to start getting out of the house again.

What we couldn't live with out: Naps! I don't think I've ever been more exhausted in my life.

My favorite part of parenting this age: His smiles and laughs just melt my heart every time.

The hardest part of parenting this age: Obviously this has been the hardest month so far, consumed with worry over his lack of weight gain. I really hope I don't have to copy and paste this same answer for next month. Ugh.

Counting every ounce...

Finally captured a smile on camera!!
How could I know anything was wrong with this sweet, smiley boy??

I have posted some things on Facebook about what has been going on with Graham baby, but so many people have been asking questions, I thought I'd do a post to give some answers. So a few weeks ago, our little peanut had his 4 month checkup. For some reason the pediatricians here don't do 3 month checkups, so it had been two months since we'd been into the doctor's office. One of my best friends Andrea had come to Indy to visit and meet Graham for the first time, so she came with me to his checkup.

Loving Aunt Andrea's snuggles!!

I was expecting nothing but good news. Graham had spent the past couple of months seemingly happy and healthy, rolling over, babbling, smiling and laughing... And then they put him on the scale. At 2 months, he'd weighed 10 lbs, 1 oz, which is small but normal, and I knew he was supposed to have gained 2-4 lbs since then. When the number popped up on the scale at 10 lbs, 6 oz, I immediately started freaking out internally. He wasn't even on the charts anymore. I LOVE our pediatrician, and she is a mom of two young kids, so she is the perfect mix of knowledgeable doctor and understanding mom. After a thorough exam of Graham and asking me tons of questions, she recommended continuing to nurse every 3 hours, supplementing 1 oz in a bottle after each session, putting him on meds to help his spitup, and holding him upright for 15 min after eating to help keep everything down. If he didn't gain some ounces in a couple of weeks, she wanted to do bloodwork to test for some underlying medical issues. Seems like a simple, reasonable plan, but the minute we got home, tears came hard, fast, and furious. Had I been starving our baby for 2 months without realizing it?!! How could I not have known this was going on?? I felt like the biggest failure of a mom ever. We had five days of complete misery, with baby and Mommy crying through nearly every feeding. If my milk supply had been low before, it bottomed out with this bad news. And with my milk supply low, Grahammers would spend a long fussy hour feeding and still not be full. Then he would suck down several ounces in a bottle... and not be hungry the next session. Ugh. We called the doctor every day that week with question after question of how to best help our sweet baby. Finally, after tons of trial and error, I realized that most of my questions and our problems seemed to point to low milk supply. As a first time nursing mom, I had no idea what I was doing. He had been fine the first two months, so I assumed everything was working well. But with breast-feeding, there's absolutely no way to tell how much milk they're getting.

We ended up going back in after a week because I needed some feedback badly. Graham still weighed exactly the same, but the doctor was encouraged by some of the other things we told her, such as number of poopy diapers and peed-through outfits, plus my increase in milk supply the past few days. I had begun pumping twice in the middle of the night each day, taking Fenugreek, guzzling enough water to feel like a fish, eating more than usual, building in naps to my schedule, everything I could think of or read or hear about. She gave us one more week to get some ounces on this baby. She said she'd be happy with a 4 oz. gain, so that's what we began begging God for. The next 7 days were dedicated to nothing but making sure Graham had the best feedings and naps possible. And God answered!! Graham gained 4 oz exactly. She wanted to see him again one week later, just to make sure we were still on track. We upped his supplemental intake by 2 oz/ day. When we went back this time, he had only gained 2oz in the past 7 days. Ugh. Not good at all. Our doctor was out of town, so we saw someone else, who recommended we go to the hospital for tests as soon as possible, start a new feeding plan (adding formula into my pumped milk for extra calories and rice cereal to make it thicker and harder to spit back up), new spitup meds, and if good progress wasn't made in a few short days, that we may have to go to the hospital to be closely monitored at every feeding and diaper change. I lost it. I bawled through the whole appointment and Andrew had to do all the talking. I was overcome with worry, frustration, despair the rest of the day. Finally, that night I was reminding myself of who God is and the promises He doesn't break, and my heart began to soften. No matter what, I was so thankful to have the opportunity to be a mom. There is nothing else like it. No matter what, I could see God doing good through all this in my own heart, in my marriage, in our families, etc. And I began to trust Him again. He can't stop doing good to me. It's not in His nature, and He doesn't change. The next morning, we went to the hospital cautiously hopeful. His first test was an ultrasound of his heart, to make sure there wasn't a murmur or something going on that would eat up his calories and leave none for him to grow on.

The hospital gave G a puppy dog.. He really could care less. :)

The second test was to draw blood and check for things like hyper thyroid issues, anemia, and some other things I honestly can't remember. The third test was a sweat chloride test, which checks for cystic fibrosis. Then we went home and waited... and waited. How can you think about anything else??!! The results finally came back in-- all normal, except that he is anemic. The doctor told us to get some iron drops for him. Simple. But as Andrew and I began to discuss the results, and he checked in with his mom (a nurse, who has Celiac's disease and anemia too), some things started coming together in our heads. Anemia can sometimes be linked to Celiac's disease, which Andrew and many members of his family have (meaning they can't process gluten). It is very rare for a breastfed baby to show signs of Celiac's before they have solid food, so we just never even considered it. Everyone told me to eat normally as I breast-fed him, so I did. Andrew didn't even have problems with gluten until he was an adult, and I thought at the very earliest Graham would possibly have to deal with it would be as a toddler eating solid foods. We began Googling things, checking with our nurse/ doctor friends and family... And realized that Celiac's would answer every symptom that he has... Low weight gain, tons of spitup even though we've tried different meds, farts that smell like rotten eggs (ha!), but still happy and meeting his milestones. We go back to the doctor tomorrow and are hopeful that we will begin the testing for that instead of being put in the hospital. Celiac's is the best-case scenario because it is very simple to treat by just adopting a gluten free diet. Please join with us in praying that's all that is wrong with little Grahammers!!

Out the other day for a stroller ride on a rare sunny day...

And then Mommy realized it was still freezing outside!!
All bundled up and out like a light!

The Grahaminator at 4 months!

He's so fascinated by the camera now, but still refuses to smile for it. :)

Weight: (No idea. We'll find out in a couple of days.)

Height: (Same.)

Clothing size: Still in 0-3 months/ 3 months... but his huge cloth diaper bum is helping fill these clothes up! :)

Diaper size: CLOTH DIAPERS! Still going strong!

Feeding: He's still eating well every 3 hours. And he now will take a normal bottle like a normal baby!!! Yessssss.

Sleeping: We started pushing his bedtime back a few weeks ago, so now his last feeding is at 8:30 pm and then we put him to bed for the night. He sleeps until 7 am. He naps for about 1.5 hours every 3 hour cycle. I've started giving him his paci about 10 minutes before I put him down for a nap, which helps him relax and not scream his guts out when I lay him down in the crib. :)

Milestones: First cold. :( He started babbling like crazy a few days ago! He "talks" up a storm now. Really cute. He also took his first bath like a man today- no tears. First time ever!

Likes: SNUGGLING as always. He just loves being held as much as possible. There are some days when he seems clingy and doesn't like me to put him down, but most days he's fine playing on the Elephant Mat or whatever. Still crazy about his thumb and constantly working on getting it in his mouth. Also, he loooooves Baby Benchpress! He smiles so big every time. He also has started giving big smiles lately when we sing songs that we move his arms with, like "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" and "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" and "Do Your Ears Hang Low"... And he loves getting kisses!

Dislikes: Booger- sucker. We used this constantly for a couple of weeks. Baths. Big crowds/ being passed around a lot. He used to be so oblivious about what was going on around him, but lately he seems to get overwhelmed and overstimulated when there are tons of people around taking turns holding him. 

Adventures: First Valentine's Day. Kaleigh's shower! Loved celebrating with her!! Graham's baptism at our church. This doesn't represent salvation, but shows God's covenant with our family and His blessing on Graham. We are trusting and praying that God would draw Graham to Himself by grace through faith, hopefully at a young age!

Daddy's big guy, but Mommy's little Valentine. :)

Still just figuring each other out. :)

I love this pic!

Graham screamed his guts out when that water hit his head!
Corey did a great job at his baptism, and we're so thankful for our family and friends' support. 

Recovered from the trauma of his baptism.
He was baptized in the same outfit Andrew was 29 years ago! 

4 generations!
Graham's middle name comes from Andrew's Grandpa Harrison.

What we couldn't live with out: Each other. So many times since giving birth, I have repeatedly wondered out loud, "How do single moms do it?" I just have no idea what I would do if Andrew weren't here to give me some relief by having adult conversation, changing a few diapers, helping with bath time, bouncing parenting ideas off of, completely taking over for a couple of days when I got mastitis... not to mention making money for our little family! My mother was a single mom for almost my entire childhood, and I have a whole new respect for her and all single moms out there. You are amazing!!! 

My favorite part of parenting this age: All the smiles!!! He definitely recognizes and prefers me and Andrew now, which is kinda fun. :) And lately all his babbling. Again, loving this age!! 

The hardest part of parenting this age: Giving up dairy! Ha. I gave it up for 3 weeks because I thought it was helping with his spit-up, and then decided it made no difference. He just spits up a lot in general. And I get to have cereal again!!! That was a big sacrifice. :) Also, mastitis, twice in two weeks. It's impossible to parent with this. Ughhhhhh. Little Grahammers is worth it all, though. Little sweet pea.

Check out that 'stache!!

The Grahaminator at 3 Months

Weight: (Our pediatrician doesn't do 3 month check-ups, so we don't really know.)

Height: (Ditto)

Clothing size: 0-3 months/ 3 months. (Is it just me, or is baby clothing size super confusing?)

Diaper size: 1, but now we're in cloth diapers, which are one size fits all. 

Feeding: Still eating well every 3 hours. Ever since he started sleeping through the night, he is much more hungry during the day. Makes sense, but one day he nursed for an hour straight at one feeding, and several times lately it's taken 45 minutes. What??! Did I mention just feeding this kid is my full-time job??! Andrew always says he is packing on the ounces. Ha. He has just started taking a normal bottle lately, instead of his "special needs" one, so we're hoping this will continue.

Sleeping: Taking 1.5 hour naps each 3-hour cycle. Sleeping through the night!!!!

Milestones: Survived his 2 month shots. Ouch. Rolling over!!!! (tummy to back) Starting to laugh!! Starting in cloth diapers.

Likes: I decided pretty soon after Graham was born that he is an ENFJ (Myers Brigg) so far... meaning he loves people, sees only the big picture, reacts emotionally, and loves his schedule. Pretty sure all newborns must be this :), but we'll see how his temperament progresses as he grows. Anyway, he still loves SNUGGLING. Hunting for his thumb and trying to shove it into his mouth at all times. Paci to go to sleep. Elephant mat. The Bumbo. 

Lovin' the Bumbo.

Dislikes: Baths. Any clothes that go over his head.

Adventures: Meeting baby Kaleigh!! Graham's cousin Kaleigh was born in Florida, so we had to wait a couple of weeks to meet her. They have no idea they're going to be best buds. :)

Typical: Graham avoiding eye contact and Kaleigh looking completely adorable.

LOVE that our babies are so close to the same age!!
Congrats Mary Leslie and Heath!!

Loved his visit with Nonnie and Poppy! 

He's so proud of his Daddy. :)

What we couldn't live with out: BIBS!!! They help catch all that spit-up... sometimes...

My favorite part of parenting this age: I just added this in, so I'm going to fill in for the past two months too... 

1 month- Snuggles and cuddles!!! The awe of every little movement, sneeze, facial expression, etc. Sweet noises- purring especially. 

2 months- Beginning responses to us. More eye contact, smiles, coos. Finally feeling like he's really OUR baby, not like we're just baby-sitting. :)

3 months- Seeing new tricks!! Rolling over, lots of smiles and noises. Just so much more alert and responsive in general. This age is really fun!

The hardest part of parenting this age:

1 month- Lack of sleep. Nursing. Feeling clueless what to do sometimes. Constant worrying. Figuring out how to be on the same team parenting.

2 months- Exactly the same as 1 month.

3 months- I think still just getting used to things-- lately missing out at social gatherings from having to leave the room to nurse him. It's hard but worth it.

I just love our little family.

A little size comparison... I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get these three pictures all beside each other! Anyone using blogspot that can help me out with this??

1 month

2 months

3 months today!